How do Zipcodes, Birthrates, Eggs and Butter Mathematically Reveal the anti-Christ?

Watching out for the end of days and the rise of the anti-Christ are important concerns to many people of faith (and Cub fans who simply want to be put out of their misery).

Through the years, there have been many suspects: some popular like John F. Kennedy, others outrageous like Marilyn Manson and none as widely popular in the bible belt as the Pope.

But now a new candidate has arose. He’s suave, self-assured and graduated from Harvard (striking fear in Ivy leaguers from Princeton to Yale). Barack Obama. Now, before everyone jumps me with an argument about my politics, his ethnic heritage or the fact that I am a lifelong Cubs fan, give me a chance to show you the numbers; then decide. These are not wild machinations of some crazed man. I draw my evidence from the same well as tightly wound conspiricists on the Inter net. I simply choose to wink and smile as I use his legal name, damning evidence from the U.S. Postal Service and my simple projection of declining birthrates: all with some good old “evangelastic” presentation.

The President-elect  has 18 letters in his name. Barack (6) Hussein (7) Obama (5).

If we move just one letter from his middle to his last name you have 6 – 6 – 6. Now it does change his name to Barack Hussei Nobama but that’s majoring on minors. How about if we move the second “S” and leave the “N” alone? That way, it keeps the sounding of his middle name intact and improves the change of pronunciation of his last name from a negative sounding one to Sobama – all without sacrificing the incriminating 6 – 6 – 6.  Any better Mr. or Ms. skeptic?

Now, stop shaking your head and unfold those arms while you consider this: Obama lives in Chicago: also home to the zip code 60606. Since the value of zero is nothing, it doesn’t actually count. What happens when you remove those two zeros from the zip code? I’ll let you finish the math. Picked your jaw up from the floor yet?

There’s much more.  The building located at the center of the 6-( ) -6-( ) -6 zip code is the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. Once known by the innocent name “Butter and Egg Board,”  this hi-tech den of thieves is a place where all forms of commodities are traded by people “crying out” for more and more money.  And where does the love of money and frozen pork belly futures lead to . . ?  Lower Wacker Drive: a place of emptiness and desolation after rush hour: a pathway of darkness running directly below the seemingly innocent Upper Wacker Drive. Now, please allow a little elbow room on this end times equation as Mr. Barack Husein Sobama lives many miles away from this zip code. Nonetheless, it is assigned to his home town (and the Chicago Cubs).

Finally, President Obama and his wife end up having three more children while in office, they will have a family of 6. If each of his 4 children then has the national average for children – 1.5 – and each of those grandchildren has only 1 great grandchild each, the total number of his family (6) grandchildren(1.5 x 4=6) and each grandchild’s single child (6) brings us to the number 6-6-6.

Convinced yet? I could go on. If you take the number of states that voted for Obama and throw out the ones from D.C. all the way up through New England (except Maine), you have 18 blue states left: 6 in the west, 6 in middle America – 6 in the east.  Not to mention he resides in Cook County, Illinois; 18 letters divided equally 6 – 6 – 6, Oh, shut up about Cookco Untyil Linois, you’re just looking for excuses.

And yes, when you add up the number of national league pennants and world series the Cubs have one it equals 18. I know when you divide it by the number of central division titles you get 6 – 6- 6. But don’t even try to go there. . . Obama is a White Sox fan.    

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7 Responses to “How do Zipcodes, Birthrates, Eggs and Butter Mathematically Reveal the anti-Christ?”

  1. Finally, a person who makes sense (yeah right). Enjoyed reading though. So many friends are still stuck on the middle name. Thanks for changing it.

  2. […] Mathematically Reveal the anti-Christ? Posted in December 1st, 2008 by in Uncategorized How do Zipcodes, Birthrates, Eggs and Butter Mathematically Reveal the anti-Christ? Watching out for the end of days and the rise of the anti-Christ are important concerns to many […]

  3. schwartztronica Says:

    By God, this is @$!?ing hilarious, especially your poll at the end!

  4. […] in myself.  *cough  Along those lines, everyone, check out these two blogs: Notions Capital and Heaven, Hell, & Humor.  They may be at opposite ends of the American political spectrum, but by God, they are […]

  5. I saw an article by a fairly mainstream pastor (can’t remember who) who said that we wouldn’t know the anti-Christ if he came up and introduced himself. But somehow all these bloggers are going to figure it out. God, I’m glad there are people out here with a sense of humor about this silliness. Thanks.

    Then there’s the big hoopla over Barack and Rick Warren:
    http://joshsez.wordpress.com/

  6. Josh – It’s interesting how so many people want to know the mysterious and ignore the vital things of daily life.

  7. samson4712 Says:

    I honestly hope your not being serious. But if you are, then hey, my name is Thomas Gregory Baird. 6-7-5. move one of the numbers from 7 to 5 and you get 6-6-6. OH NO!!!! But hey, my zip code is 29639. 9 appears twice. 9+9=18. 6-6-6!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!! I think you get where I’m going.

    PS: If you’ve read the Old Testament, then you know that the anti-christ is supposed to come from Greece, not Kenya 🙂

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