Archive for Howard Stern

How Many Atheists Does it Take to Survive an Earthquake?

Posted in The Hell You Say! with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2009 by andeeroo

calvin_hobbes_math_atheist

Recently, by random selection, I visited “The Friendly Atheist,” blog (Hemant Manta) {friendlyatheist.com}. This incident seemed very strange to me as I had just returned from Ethiopia where I saw the reproduction of the famous bones of “Lucy” (the crown jewel of ancient skeletons). At only 3 1/2 feet tall, Lucy was quite the cougar 3.2 million years ago, living a swinging lifestyle with chimpanzees in the trees of Africa. Anthropologists believe her promiscuity helped spread the the appearance of humans on planet earth (yet another argument for safe sex).

These two“athe-incidents” happening to me in such a short time frame seemed more than just mere chance (with all due respect to Charley D.).  Might there be a cosmic purpose to me experiencing these two events firsthand? As you can imagine, all this and Darwin’s recent 200th birthday bash was enough to make me get up off the couch and walk upright to my computer, engaging my opposable thumbs and fingers to write this all down.

As far as descendants of one-celled organisms go, Hemant Manta seems a gentleman who is highly evolved and quite interesting to read. If I was forced to play situational ethics with an atheist, I believe he would give me a fair shake in the lifeboat before throwing me overboard to save the doctor, the physicist and the Bill Maher.

I would even note that Hemant and I have a shared belief in at least part of Genesis 2:7  that states God formed man from the slime of the earth. We both believe in the slime, I simply believe it took a Creator to craft us, whereas Hemant would believe in a kismatic occurance.

Now, before any intellectuals tee me up for not hearing the “big bang’s” call in my life, let me go on record as saying I enjoy atheists as much as the next primal guy. Atheists of all sorts: entertaining atheists (Woody Allen, Dave Barry, Eddie Izzard), rugged atheists (Lance Armstrong, Studs Terkel, Jodie Foster), sensitive atheists (Keanu Reeves, Barry Manilow,  James Lipton), even “Big Apple” atheists (Harvey Fierstein, Howard Stern, Billy Joel). And it goes without saying that I have a cool, cryogenic admiration for atheism’s head of the class: deceased baseball legend, Ted Williams.

I will not take the time here to list all the “God believing” people I admire as there are almost as many as there are religious denominations (or matters of faith in the theories of evolution); albeit without the messy inquisitions, holy wars and missing links.

Anyway, I de-evolve. The reason for this essay is to consider the critque of Hemant and his respondents to a fair question he raised about the tragic earthquake in Italy.

In Hemant’s blog entitled “272 Die. 1 Lives. God Gets Credit For. . . “ He recounts the hundreds confirmed dead after the earthquake that rocked the area near Rome and a 20 year old boy, Giulio Colangeli, who survived when pulled from the rubble.  Hemant notes one paper’s headline stated “Divine Intervention Helped Antonello Colangeli Find His Son.” Mr. Colangeli was quoted as saying:  “I am a doctor. I a rational man. But I can only say that all those signs, all those coincidences that led me to my son, must have been sent from God.”

The Friendly Atheist goes on to point out that if God is to be thanked for Dr. Conangeli’s son surviving, God should also accept blame for the deaths of all the other people and the massive destruction of cities and infrastructure.

As Mr. Mehnta puts it  “God shouldn’t be getting credit without any chance of getting the blame.” I have a sentimental spot in my little ole’ evolved, quadraped’s heart for this thought. Too often,divinity grabs the “miracle” headlines leaving only the latest bone shard discoveries in Africa or Wyoming for evolutionists to muddle over.  Isn’t it about time in the evolutionary process of that Charles Darwin”s likeness shows up on the face of an atheist’s scone in the morning? To be fair, if random chance can replicate Mary so often that she even appeared as a Cheeto, surely the father of evolution deserves, nay, demands a spot on a Galapagos Island Tortoise shell.

Evolution should not be ignored when it comes to disasters (Kevin Costner’s “Waterworld” a chief example).  If we were to reframe the news story from Italy and give proper due, the headline would read:  “Natural Selection Claims 272 Average Humans: One Highly Evolved Young Man Survives.” With the proper worldview, Dr. Conangeli might have said:  “I am a doctor. I a  biped. But I can only say that all those coincidences were completely random. My son is lucky as hell I found him in that pile of rubble.” While this headline and story might not encourage those who look to the heavens for hope and a future, it certainly gives evolutionists a fair shot at selling papers. And the way the newspaper business is going, it surely couldn’t hurt the fourth estate.

While this may not settle the debate between those who believe in God and those who believe in man, it does bring us to a more balanced approach to covering disasters and who survives.

Darwin himself said: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

If this theory holds true – then one day – only Madonna will remain.

Hard to believe a loving evolutionist could do this to the human species.