Archive for parents

What Brad Pitt, Will Smith, David Beckham and Me (in a Pantry) Have in Common

Posted in Humorously Speaking with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by andeeroo

So Today was “Call in Gay” day.  Not sure that taking free time in protest and leaving others to do extra work is the way to change the point of view of your workmate.  Move (ing) On.

This isn’t going to be easy. Telling the truth seldom is. But here goes: I’m HAPPY.

I can hear the gasps of astonishment and shock cum anger already. I realize coming out about my HAPPY lifestyle is far from acceptable in our politically correct society. But frankly, I was tired of hiding the truth.  My wife has decided to come clean on living this lifestyle as well. She is also extremely HAPPY.

Our lifestyle choice seems to have fallen so far out of favor that it is nearly unacceptable in tolerant society. This has left us hiding our lifestyle in the pantry (the closet was taken).  It seems every time we tell others about our sexual orientation (“exclusive” sex between opposite genders), our fidelity (twenty-eight years), and our desire to remain life partners (good and bad, til death do us part), so many people roll their eyes and remark how our HAPPY lifestyle is so “nostalgic,” “quaint,” even archaic. Yeah, just like David and Victoria Beckham, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Will and Jada Pinkett Smith . . . all of us incredibly renaissance in our sexual lifestyles.

Well, with all due respect to live-ins, one nighters, same sexers and every other fashionable lifestyler;  I will be silent no longer. Not only am I proud to be out and part of the HAPPY community, I want the world to know just how HAPPY I am. I’m thinking a few protest marches are in order. A legal defense organization: the AHLU, and an international organization: The HAPPY Liberation Movement.

Maybe some slogans for bumper stickers like:

“Married People Do It to Death.”

“Great Sex Comes From Happy People”

“Passion AND Procreation: whatta country!”

” I’m a Happy, Hetero Homosapien”

I’m feeling better already. My wife and I are so out of the closet that we’re  raising our children to be openly “HAPPY.”  My wife and I live our “HAPPY” lifestyle right in front of them and all the world. If our kids choose a “HAPPY” lifestyle, so be it. We’ll love them and support them all the way.

Who knows? Perhaps even Hollywood will take up our cause. The next thing you know, we’ll see major actors portraying marital fidelity in major motion pictures – blatant happiness in full color and dolby digital sound.

Maybe there will be a “Will and Grace” reunion where Jack falls for Grace and ends up walking the aisle with her (Hey! It could happen, if Hollywood writers were just a little more creative and open-minded). Or we might even see a wacky reality series on television about the romantic reward and emotional satisfaction of saving your virginity to share with your one, true love:  “Survivor”.

Calling all “HAPPY” people hiding their lifestyles in the pantry.

It’s time to come out. Start flaunting your commitment and satisfaction with the ones you love. Let the world know how HAPPY you really are!

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Career Change Off-Limits to Porn Star?

Posted in The Hell You Say!, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2008 by andeeroo

Several years ago Louisa Tuck (stage name, Crystal Gunns) exploited plastic surgery and personal innocence in exchange for fast money. Today she works with children in elementary school and the YMCA in Vineland, New Jersey. By every measure, a career change in an honorable direction.

But Louisa Tuck has come under fire from parents and education administrators. They have no grounds for her dismissal based upon her work. She has proven herself to be positive and effective in her work with children. But her past still lives on through the internet and other media sources. And that past raises fears of parents and educators in Vineland.

Now the school board of Vineland has been tossed this hot potato and asked for a verdict.

Board of Education President Frank Giordano wants Louisa Tuck fired. He let concerned parents know if it was his decision alone, he would fire her and worry about consequences later.  District Superintendent  Lawyers for the school district have said no action should be taken against Tuck; she has done nothing to violate her duties as a Teacher’s Aide.

Two important issues beg discussion here:

#1 Jesus constantly demonstrated forgiveness to others and directed those people toward a redeemed life.  shouldn’t people (particularly of faith) offer a second chance to this woman?

#2  Five years removed from her former life, has Ms. Tuck significantly demonstrated her desire to leave her past behind and serve in a job that benefits children? If not, what amount of time marks the tipping point for her to clear her past?

So, is this a just war waged on Louisa Tuck or a modern-day stoning taking place in New Jersey?