Archive for Politics

Just Say “No” to Obama and the Republicans: Fixing Health Care With 10% Reform

Posted in The Hell You Say! with tags , , , , , , on July 29, 2009 by andeeroo

by Andy Freeman

I’ve been giving the health care debacle considerable thought. President Obama’s call for reform will be devastating to our fragile economy – the Republican alternative is non-existent. With those sad options at hand I have reached the following conclusions:

* The Democrats want to throw money at the problem thinking they will do a good deed and lock up the White House and Congress for years to come

* The Republicans see the danger of growing deficits, but are so in the pocket of Insurance companies, Pharmaceutical companies and Mega Hospital chains that they are scared to reform for losing campaign dollars, clout and their big business political paradigm

* Nobody in the private sector is going to budge. They want to “get theirs” and titillate Wall Street with great revenue numbers

* Socialized health care has been “demonized” to the point that it cannot be considered objectively and tossed out for rational reasons

* Private health insurance will slowly fade away from increasing costs until employees opt out because they can no longer afford the premiums through their employer

* All of the above will result in one in three Americans without health care by 2020

So, I’ve decided to propose my own health care reform. This may seem a brutal plan, but someone has to put forward an easy to understand program that will reduce costs, improve health and put the burden on the right shoulders. Here goes:

* The Fast Food Industry will give back 10% of all profits to subsidize health costs for heart attacks and other cardiovascular emergency procedures

* The Tobacco Industry will give back 10% of all profits to subsidize health costs for lung cancer, emphysema and other emergencies caused by their products

* The Alcohol industry will give back 10% of all profits to subsidize health costs for liver, kidney and other emergency procedures caused by their products

* Makers of Candies, Cookies, Ice Cream and other sugary treats will give back 10% of their profits to subsidize health costs for dental and diabetic procedures resulting from their products

* The entertainment industry will give back 10% of all profits to subsidize health costs for mental and emotional therapy.

* A 10% tax will be levied on all of the above industries. These monies will be used to fund medicaid. Now, the list above is not comprehensive. We can easily add other addictive products that have a negative impact on weak-willed people. The second phase of my health care reform has to do with the existing private industry. My reforms are as follows:

* Health care Insurance for an individual of family will be provided at a cost of 10% of the the final taxable income number on a single or joint federal tax return. Dependents will be covered under this cost until they reach 18 years of age. After that age, they will receive their own coverage based on the 10% rule. If they are a college student, they may purchase coverage by semester as is currently available privately. So, if you make 50,000 dollars, your health care cost is $5,000 – if you make, $300,000 dollars, your health care cost is $30,000.

* Private Businesses and Corporations will contribute 10% of their gross annual earnings to cover the permanently hospitalized, handicapped and unemployed. The poor and elderly will be serviced under medicare and medicaid.

* Health care insurance companies, Pharmaceutical Companies, Doctors and Hospitals will give back 10% of their profits annually to fund medicare and medicaid

* A complete listing of charges for procedures will be published by every doctor, clinic and hospital and made available for all potential patients to see. This will allow competitive shopping for medical care instead of just accepting the inevitable in costs.

* Doctors, clinics and hospitals will be given an annual rating based on service and costs, much like restaurants. After all, who wants to go to a 78% rated medical facility when a 98% is 15 minutes further away.

* Health Insurers may no longer force the insured to jump through hoop after hoop and reject claims just to wear down consumers and net more revenue when the insured gives up and just pays the bill. Claims will be paid. If there is disagreement it will be settled between the medical provider and the insurer, not by grinding down the patient.

* Everyone who works in government (including the President and Congress) will function under the same guidelines and health care. The only exception being our U.S. Military who will receive free health care for themselves and immediate family during their term of service. After they leave the service, they will enter the normal 10% health care culture.

* The government’s role in health care will be solely to enforce these reform rules and guidelines and continue the management of medicare and medicaid, with the taxes provided by the health care industry lock boxed for this purpose alone.

O.K., folks, there you have it. The 10% Health Care Reform Plan. No political play, no lobbyists, no socialized medicine, no skyrocketing costs. An honest program that covers all and allows profit without government interference with a little help from everyone involved.

Give me your thoughts, criticism and advice. Just don’t play politcal favorites.

Blagojevich is Innocent – His Hair is Criminal!

Posted in Humorously Speaking with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2008 by andeeroo

The dirty political tale being told in the state of Illinois and the selling of a U.S. Senate seat is just the tip of the iceberg.

Here’s the first shocker:  Governor Rod Blagojevich is innnocent of all FBI corruption charges being leveled against him.

That’s right – innocent. The wiretaps, damning testimonies, alleged dirty Chicago politics are all a frame job on Blagojevich.

The reason why is the bigger bomb I’m dropping:

Blagojevich’s HAIR is guilty of everything!

Note Blagojevich is tight lipped - BUT HIS HAIR SPEAKS VOLUMES!

Note Blagojevich is tight lipped - BUT HIS HAIR SPEAKS VOLUMES!

Now, before you brush this off as another urban legend or crazy train talk, consider the facts you haven’t seen in the headlines.

Gov. Rod Blogojevich is actually bald. Next time you see him on the news, take a closer look:  THE HAIR actually moves independently of him.  A life force unto itself, THE HAIR proudly rests upon his head a follicle king, sitting on its throne of deceit.

Quiet investigations by Chicago geneaology expert Daniel Rostendoliak have revealed Blago’s HAIR is actually the out-of-hairlock child of country singer Lyle Lovett and one of Patti LaBelle’s wigs (believed to be the blue one with       24″ high spikes). Rostendoliak further stated independent DNA tests prove THE HAIR is an undeniable  blend of Texas D.A. and synthetic soul.

THE HAIR (which I will NOW call “Bouffo” along with other suffixes to distinguish it from the Governor)  first met Rod Blogojevich in 1974 at the University of Tampa.  Blogo was a bald underclassman looking to fit in – “Bouffanovich”         a shrewd, hard-partying blow-dried lady killer, looking for a place to land. Blago and “Bouffant” struck up a close friendship.

The defining moment of their Tampa days came when both tried out for the university debate squad and discovered there was only one slot open on the team. That day they decided to join forces and their relationship gelled quickly. Their chemistry was so successful, Blago invited “Bouffana” to move in with him.  Soon, they were inseparable.

In 1977 Blago and “Bouffo” transferred to prestigious Northwestern University (where “Bouffipitt” was offered a separate scholarship in Drama). But their sights were set on government and they eventually graduated with a shared B.A. in Political Science.

Interestingly it was THE HAIR that struck up the romance that led to marriage with powerful Chicago Alderman Richard Mell’s daughter, Patty. She fell hard for the sexy coiffure and never looked back. When they walked the aisle, Blago’s noggin was just a glorified pedestal for Patty Mell to admire “Bouffanovich” on. A seemingly joyous time was actually sealing an already parasitic relationship.

The “Bouffocrat” quickly took to Chicago style politics. His great intellect, sharp wit and take-no-prisoners style of campaigning won him a state representative position as well as private meetings with Bill and Hillary Clinton, Mayor Richard Daley, Jr. (hair definitely his own) and Al Sharpton (whose hair is from another planet).

Blagojevich actually wanted to take an honest course in government, but yielded to pressure from “Bouffant” and wife Patti’s threats to run off with THE HAIR and leave Blago bald and alone.  “Bouffanamana” and Patty partied hard and demanded patronage from every person they could shave or clip. For those who refused to give tribute, punishment included a vicious cursing, withholding of precious government funding or having to style one’s hair to resemble Blago’s coiff.

The hair was hated and feared in Illinois politics: these were truly dreaded locks.

When Blagojevich was elected governor of Illinois he knew the shots would be called by THE HAIR.  It was “Bouffanovich” that hatched the hare-brained scheme to sell the empty senate seat of Barack Obama to the highest bidder.  An uncoiffured report states Jesse Jackson Jr. offered cash AND lifetime jeri curls to “Bouffant” if chosen to replace Obama.

So, what is the bottom line to this story?  Every wiretap referred to by the FBI was actually THE HAIR talking.

Every on-camera denial was off the top of Blagojevich’s head, not from his heart. Which means everything he has said or will say to the press proves he’s out-of-his-mind.

Now many will feel I’m just splitting hairs. but if justice is to be served, these hidden facts must be used to help the innocent Blagojevich part ways with this “Hair from Hades”.

Those of us who refuse to stand for tinted journalism cannot afford to let the this story dye.

Until the truth revealed in this article vindicates Rod Blagojevich and convicts this criminal hair there will be no highlights in Illinois politics – and every day will be a bad hair day for the state Democratic party.

Punchline: What are you NOT thankful for?

Posted in A Merry Heart with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2008 by andeeroo

Let it be known that I am thankful for many things this Thanksgiving holiday: my faith, family, friends and health to name just a few.

However, I will not hide the fact that there are many things in this world I am NOT thankful for! After you give thanks, take a moment to fess up.

I’ve compiled a brief list from a few from friends I queried. Please take a look at them and submit that thing you’re NOT thankful for:

Manually fillable ice cube trays   – Kendall

Phillip Seymour Hoffman in a Thong   – Teresa

Metric Tapeworms   – Mary

High water pants with white shoes   –  Luke

Fish Poetry   – Chris

Pay toilets   – Harry

Animals with holes in them   – Chelsea

Wall Street bailout beneficiaries   – Lee

Douvet Covers    – Holly

People in ski masks   –  Jonavan

Anime fillers and itchy socks   –  Rick

Political promises – Andy

Bird poop   – Jake

Abbreviations   – J

Dog fashions   –  Sid

The Detroit Lions   – Jeremy

Ten gallon hats and small minds   – Devin

People who say “irregardless and nevertheless”   – Nat